-SATWIK YELIKE
POST 4 : (CONTINUED FROM POSTS 1,2 & 3) :
So I secured a good rank in an esteemed university entrance examination and joined there. It was completely a new kind of environment which was completely opposite to that of my high school. You could differentiate girls from boys only if you look in a particular angle, if you know what I mean. There was this full hell of freedom.
I made so many good friends there but still could not forget her. Facebook was the only way to know her whereabouts. I used to message her about all my good experiences in the university and she used to see all the messages but she never replied. However, one day she finally sent a message but it was not the kind of response I was waiting for. She messaged saying that she couldn't recognize me. My mind went blank.
"Doesn't she really know me?" "So, doesn't she really know my name at all?" "Did she look at everyone like how she looked at me?" "Is she squint eyed?" "Has she had those 'eye-locking' moments with others too?" "Does she already has a boyfriend?" "Am I doing it wrong?" These kind of questions killed me. Bringing back my cool, I sent my photo thinking that she might recognize me. As usual, there wasn't any reply from her. I couldn't conclude if she had recognized me or not. I felt like I was crushed by my crush.
It was't another Dawn that I was messaging to as the profile details were exactly the details of my Dawn. She joined in a very good university in another city. I was very happy for her. Incidentally, Nest too joined in the same college where Dawn too joined. I used to ask Nest about her casually while asking about other friends too who joined there so that he would never get a doubt. I literally wanted no one to know about all this. I felt like even if I tell anyone about all this, it might seem silly to them and I also thought that nobody could really understand how much that truly meant to me as that was so intense.
I got to know that my Dawn used to top in her university too. She's a real jem. Damn! I still couldn't get over that feeling. I realised that her birthday was arriving. I wished her exactly at 12:00 on her birthday by sending a message on facebook. Then this miracle happened. After an hour I got her reply. I asked her if she really knew me. She said yes. My happiness had no leaps and bounds. We chatted for some fifteen minutes. There were tears rolling off my eyes that whole time. I'm that kind of over emotional and over attached type of guy. I still couldn't understand why she initially told that she had not recognized me. I didn't ask her. What if she told that all that happened there in the college was just normal like how it was just in the case of others too? My heart has no such power to bear all that. So I left all that had happened behind and tried to change my mind.
As days passed, I started to think what that feeling really was. Was that love? Was that attraction or all that happened was just infatuation? I soon realised that it was all attraction which meant that I had deep crush on her but that was insanely deep too. I can't put it down in words here.
One day I decided to tell her about all my feelings I had towards her. I dared to do it by messaging her on facebook. I revealed that I had crush on her and explained how I really felt about her during that whole time but I didn't want to know how she felt about all that happened and I would never want to know. Her reaction was exactly how I expected. She was wondered and asked me to leave all that happened. I don't know if we could start over again and still be good friends. I'm glad that I told her all the things I wanted to tell and how I felt about that feeling. We rarely talk now but I never forgot to wish her on her birthdays and I'll never stop wishing her.
Dawn will always have a special place in my heart. I will never ever forget her. I know that I could never get over those 'eye-locking' moments. Just like the meaning of her name, Dawn brightened my dark heart with her beautiful daylight. I came to know that the feeling wasn't love or lust but she shall always remain as my 'Teenage Dreamqueen'. She gave me the true meaning of a 'TEENAGE CRUSH'. I don't think it was a mistake committed by me or her. If you consider that as a mistake, okay, that could be the sweetest mistake I had ever committed. I always wish her the best. You too must agree that having a crush on someone brings in a lot of excitement. Some people's crush may end up being their lover too but my story didn't reach there. I'm not sad that my story ended but happy that it left an awesome feeling and a great experience. I'll cherish this feeling throughout my life. The story of my Dawn has reached its Dusk.







